I’m going to rattle off some super basic parenting questions. Answer them honestly, and then we’ll talk default parent and what that really means (to me, at least). Here’s the thing, you either know exactly what I’m talking about, or you don’t. And there’s no shame on being a default parent or not. It is what it is and each role in parenting carries different perks and negatives. Here are some scenarios:
It’s 7 pm, kids are down and you need toothpaste. Do you A. Run out and get it or B. Ask someone to pick it up?
Your child gets a cut at school. Does the school call you first?
Schools out, snow day! Who’s the parent to stay home with them without much thought?
It’s 2:30 am and the baby is screaming in their bed. Do you jolt awake in bed or slumber through?
Doctor’s appointment and it’s time to fill out the forms…Do you have their information memorized or are you texting to find out answers?
And then there’s just a million and one excuses. He’s not developmentally ready (says who, and what’s the actual requirement for potty training? It all seems sort of arbitrary), he’s not showing an interest (well, he likes the word poop and to flush it, is that interest?!), he’s not asking to go potty. I think more than any of those questions and standards, it’s on the parent to be ready to do it.
After deciding that I could handle a weekend of potty training, I got two different potty training books, one of which had been sitting on my shelf since March 2020. I took them out and placed them on my nightstand and…never read them. I have every single intention of reading them, but I was just too tired at night and had other things prioritized so I decided to go into the potty training blind—using only my gut as my navigation system.
As a 1991 baby, a millennial, but not really one at heart, I feel my style rolls more like a gen-x. I also feel like my boomer family judges me every step of the way from the fact that I let my kids test their limits or paint apron free or the fact that I don’t force them to wear a coat to the car so that they experience the natural consequence of feeling cold. Are you rolling your eyes? Hi, Mom!
I've picked my favorite three pictures (or the three that most resemble that phase in our life) for all of 2020. Travel back with me! I wrote an essay about the past year, see the button below to read it!