I then found myself doing quick meals, lots of snack bars, yogurt, and pouches, and not stressing about how much he got at each offering. I bought a water bottle that made it easy to track his water intake and a sectioned plate for proportions. Instead of stressing, I was investing in ways to make life easier during this uncertain time.
I went on Amazon and found wooden puzzles and educational toys for Lincoln that he could explore with or without me. That way the pressure was off of me to be hands on if I had to deal with a crying baby. He was learning and when I could, I was there to prompt him and help him through any issues that frustrated him. Despite him being only 19 months old, I feared failure and not providing him with the activities he needed to keep his brain moving.
This expectation versus reality conundrum translates to real life, but is magnified when in the middle of a pandemic. I see friends with older kids posting about the struggles of homeschooling, single friends posting about the shows they've caught up on, DIYers updating their houses, and others taking up new hobbies, like scrap booking or knitting. That's how I expected this quarantine to go in the beginning. I thought I would get so much done!
Once I accepted that I had two little babies who would be touching, needing, and crying for me all day long and that it was okay to watch TV more than I ever would let them before or not do a mommy led project or not get outside, I felt at peace. And to be honest, once I let go of the anxieties of not knowing when this will all end and give up control, I felt better and was a better mom.
We will get through this. And it's on us to be happy, make sure our kids are happy, and roll with it.