Asking for help requires you to actually ASK. And for some reason, to me, asking for help meant I needed help, and needing help meant I failed. I remember one particular moment after I had Lincoln. I was probably about 5 days postpartum and my husband was going to go into work for a half-day. I was literally petrified. A dozen thoughts shot through my mind, most revolving around "I'm going to be alone with this baby, what do I do if [insert scariest thoughts ever] happens?" Doubt affects everyone. You can be the most confident parent, the most on-top-of-it person, but you can still worry. This was me. I was a first time mom, but I knew what I was doing. It was just this thought of being alone. I struggled that day to ask him to stay home with me. I didn't have a tangible reason to want him to stay home, but I needed him to stay home. It was a tennis match in my head of figuring out how to ask for help and then convincing myself I didn't need it. Chris was getting ready to leave, and I remember breaking down completely, hysterical cries while the baby was sleeping on my chest, begging him not to go to work. Instead of asking him to stay, it got to the point where I was broken down and weak and just sobbed for it. It shouldn't have to get to that point for a mom to ask for a hand.
The moral of my story is, swallow your pride and fix your mentality. It's tough to change how we think. I am the first to admit that I don't do myself any favors. But I know this about myself and actively try to fix it. We aren't supposed to walk this mom life alone and whether it's a long talk with your best friend, a meal from your in-laws, babysitting from your mom, or a long walk alone... ask for what you need/want and keep yourself happy!
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